the cut off

With school days upon us, and the whole lot of my family continuing our days just as before, I find myself answering a lot of questions from loving friends and family, and curious strangers about what’s next.  My oldest is now five, and though he misses the official cutoff for kindergarten by one whole day, the most common thing said to this little boy is, “Are you starting kindergarten this year?”.  He usually looks up to me to respond appropriately, and despite my earlier pledge to proudly announce our intentions to home school, I find myself continuing to mumble the lame excuse about the cut off day falling before his birthday.  And while my statement is factual, it makes me feel like a coward, and that I am not showing my boys the commitment we do indeed have to homeschooling.  Because the truth is, I am really proud of our days.  They are magical and pure, and full of inspiring, real life learning.  Why the hestiation in explaining this?

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I suppose a bit of it comes from the faces I have gotten when I have put my heart on my sleeve and told the plain old truth.  But the majority of it just comes from fear of recieving them again.  This fear.  It seems the dark cloud of it gets in the way of so much, for so many of us.  The fear of judgement, the fear of failure, the fear of regret.  These things are real, and not isolated to me or  to homeschooling, or to anything.

IMG_3327But taken day by day, it can be mitigated and directed.  Taken one conversation at a time, and one child hurdled past the first year of “would be heading to school” before the other,  I am quite sure it will get easier.

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For now we will just continue to study the world with intention and see where it takes us.  So, with that being said, happy back to school week, or not back to school week.  How about, happy kids or happy parents or just happy September.  I like the sound of that.

10 thoughts on “the cut off

  1. Love this post… not because we home school, but because part of me has given into the fear (not that it’s our only reason, my daughter has specifically asked to go to conventional school because she wants to stay with all her friends) but yes, the fear of judgment, accusation, etc. I’ve wrestled with it all (and still do!). I find you brave, sometimes being cautious isn’t about being a coward. Waiting for the right way/moment is showing wisdom.

    Happy beginning of the year to you! xo

    • Oh, I like this thought. You are right, sometimes it is just not the time or the place to discuss such things. And yes, it feels impossible to resist the worry of judgement… It is good to know I am not alone on that!

  2. Hold your head high and tell them you’re homeschooling. Your boys look like they have great adventures and I am sure they are learning more than a child that attends traditional school and then heads home to sit in front of a computer for the rest of the evening.

  3. Oh my sweet friend! You are doing an amazing job guiding your boys through this wonderful world of wonder. Your boys are blessed to have such an awesome momma.

  4. Ya know, in the past I would’ve been one of the people that gave you that judgemental face. But, you know why? It would’ve had nothing to do with you! That reaction is all about the person giving it. For some people, others doing something different makes THEM feel threatened & ‘less than’. At least that’s my experience. I wish I had the time, creativity, patience & skills to homeschool my girls- I totally would!
    You’re amazing & remember “the way people treat you says more about them than you” or something like that. 🙂

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